Rejection. Does it really suck? Nahhhh!

Today I got another letter.  It essentially said in a lovely way, "Thanks but no thanks".  It hurt for about a minute.  However with the sting still there, inside I felt something else bubbling up.  It is joy.  I know rejection is probably the worst feeling in the world.  I've had my fair share. No matter the reason--love, work, art, social ties it doesn't matter it always hurts when you pour yourself into something only to me met with -- rejection.

I propose we take a moment to reflect on what professional rejection, really represents.  (I don't want to touch on romance as it is so individual and multifaceted.) Instead I would like to look specifically at rejection of your work. Perhaps this sharing is on a small scale, such as friends and family. It could also be on a grand scale such as submitting your work for potential publication or even a proposal that may put your job on the line.  Art, the written word, business proposals (think Shark Tank) -- your work the thing that matters to you.  The thing that you create in the center of your being and dare to share it with another human being hoping for some form of validation that you are not wasting your time/life.

LET ME BEGIN THERE:
IF it comes from your heart. It is NEVER something that is unworthy.  Why you ask? Because you are worthy.  It is not something that another can place a value on, it is YOU, and you are priceless.  The truth is professional rejection makes us stronger as artist, writers, business persons.  It often pushes us to try harder, stretch our thinking, to learn more, dig deeper.  It betters us.

If you are considering giving up because someone/thing has turned down your work. Perhaps it was not your heart at all that you  poured into that thing.  When your heart belongs to your work, you can't put it down because another person simply said, "Thanks, but not this time."

In many ways, putting your work out there for another to judge or critic makes you a winner.  Many artist, writers, business persons never take that leap.  They sit in the corner hoping one day that someone will walk by and notice their work. They call it humility, what it really is -- fear (of rejection).  It is okay to be strong enough to say I want people to see what I have done here.  It's okay really.

Think if the greats never shared their work, but instead waited for someone to hopefully notice. Which more than likely would never happen.  That would mean never a piece by Edgar Allen Poe, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Stephen King-- think where the world would be.. fewer movies that's for sure. Benjamin Button would be but a lost tale, as the Great Gastby.  Never would just the single word "It" have sent shivers up my spine. Never would I have an image clearly in my mind when a person says "Cugo" or "Carrie". Single word titles that strike fear into the hearts of many.  English teachers everywhere at a loss on how to explore the Gothic writings, the poor Tell Tale Heart still beating yet not a soul would know. The Conquer Worm never explored.. the horror of it all.

I learned a long time ago when I was so desperate to be a published artist that many times, it is not the work that is not worthy, but the circumstances.  Perhaps your piece did not work in that "issue" or that time.  That does not mean it never will. My first layout was published many months after I had submitted it. In fact I forgot that I had submitted it!  I now have over forty layouts published in every major magazine in the industry. Why am I telling you this?  It means you must keep trying. Don't give up!
Rejection is not a reflection of YOU instead it means-- that at this time-- in this place, right now it doesn't fit.  That doesn't mean it wont EVER fit.

NEXT I would like to address the concept of  "You don't do it to be published."

POPPYCOCK!   I am going to turn my gear toward writing for a moment but this applies in many places. If you don't write to share your stories, then why are you writing?  Keep your personal journal and it doesn't matter if the structure is solid, or the characters are developed.  IT IS OKAY TO SEEK OUT PUBLICATION FOR YOUR WORK. It doesn't make you prideful, or any less the artist because you  have a longing to share your stories/work.

 It makes you a writer/artist. I am so tired of others saying... "I don't write to get published." I call you out!  IF you are not writing/creating to be published then why are you sharing?  Is it that fear that you will forever be rejected by the publishing houses?  YES that is what it is.  The fear that others may not find value in your work?  YES that is what it is. I say to that... RUBBISH... keep submitting don't be a coward.  It only makes you stronger when you are rejected.  You re-read that piece or as an artist  you may reconsider your color scheme/and design or even reconsider the proposal and how to make it stronger.  Rejection changes your thinking. It makes you LOOK at your work.  If you submit your work and it is rejected, use that to build your craft not tear yourself down.
Learn from rejection , don't be hurt by it. Yes the sting will always come, but when you feel that sting, when it hurts and you begin to question yourself, smack yourself in the face and say, "OKAY how can I make this better?" Then try again! and again! and again!

Be strong and don't EVER let anyone/thing make you feel small or less valuable. You are still learning and trying a work in progress until your last breath is taken.

I have a final quote that I want to share...

"A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit." Richard Bach (Freedom with Writing)

That says it all. Never give up-- not on the things that matter.


Oh and this is good too!

UPDATE: I have submitted to two more magazines after writing this post today. Fingers crossed but if it's not to be, that's okay. See makes us stronger ;)